There is nothing better in this world than eating.
Nothing can rival the pure pleasure that beautifully presented, expertly crafted cuisine can give, and that is why I like to eat out – a lot. I’ve been here and there and, when it comes to Milwaukee, practically everywhere. But sometimes the eating isn’t as important to me as the drinking.
You knew that was coming, right? You’re reading Bar Time right now, after all.
So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, as they say. I’m not going to preach to you about food because we all know that when it comes to spreading “the gospel” on the Milwaukee dining scene, Ann Christenson of this same magazine is the reigning high priestess.
May I take the reigns and tell you about some of the most unsurpassed mixed drinks our restaurants have to offer? I promise I won’t let you down; I’ve done this whole major drinking and casually eating thing before.
I don’t do the “save-the-best-for-last” cliché therefore, I am starting with my true love: Cempazuchi Comida Brava (1205 E. Brady St.).
I texted a friend of mine who’s from Mexico and currently living in San Francisco asking what Comida Brava means. “I would say that you have 2 b brave 2 eat or drink it,” she typed.
That might be the direct translation but a cup o’ courage is the last thing I need when walking into Cempazuchi. I sit down, they bring me chips and two different kinds of salsa and I say, “Sangria, please.”
All you need to know is that it is amazing and that is all I can say. There is no cubed fruit floating in it and they do the drink cultural justice by not serving it in a wine glass. It’s perfect in every sense of the word and you need to try it so you can see for yourself why I simply have no words for the taste of this distinctive drink.
One of my new favorite restaurants is Umami Moto (718 N. Milwaukee St.) downtown. The atmosphere is super chic. But its list of attributes only continues to get better when you look at the martini list.
When the Korean Kiss arrives in front of me, I get the same kind of excited that every girl gets when her special someone surprises her with flowers. That’s because this drink is garnished with a beautiful pale purple orchid floating atop a billowy pillow of froth. Beneath the orchid and the froth are splashes of Citron Vodka, Chambord and pineapple juice. This drink is so heavenly, so divine that it is almost like what I imagine drinking holy water would be like: an instant sense of blessed bliss.
I was getting ready to order the Chocolate Pear martini and my server stopped me and said that I should wait. She said that drink is so good, it may ruin my entrée which, at the time, I hadn’t received yet. I waited for dessert and she was right. The drink made for a perfect dessert.
It is made with Kettle One Vodka, pear sake and liqueur and Godiva chocolate drizzle. It was amazing, refreshing and filling. I hobbled out of there that night with too much food and drink in my stomach but as usual, it was worth it.
There is one drink in this city that I deem as illegal and if I were ever caught drinking this, I’d probably be on death row by now. The Berry Sexy martini at Swig (217 N. Broadway) has contributed to too many late nights, bruises, embarrassing pictures and bringing out this horrible loud laugh that I only do when my insides are treading tequila.
Truly, the only reason they can call this a martini is because they serve it in the appropriate glass. Made with Jose Cuervo Tequila, Chambord and Cranberry juice, I always have to think twice before I order.
My thought process is usually something like, “Okay, what time do I have to get up tomorrow, how short is my dress tonight and can I control ‘the laugh’…?”
If I mentally answer anytime “before 10:00 a.m.” or “above knee length” or “of course I can” I know not to order the Berry Sexy. However, if you have ever tried this you know that it sure is hard to resist. Besides, I can only sip on vodka seltzers for so long before I start to do an involuntary head bob which I can only describe as my response to a common syndrome (that I just made up now) called Cocktail Boredom.
So, if your night is getting a little vanilla and you are dying to mix it up, grab a cab down to the Third Ward, strut you stuff up to the bar and order a round of Berry Sexy Martinis. Even if your skirt is short and your laugh is loud vanilla is unacceptable everywhere but a waffle cone.
