I cannot claim to write a blog about parenting in Milwaukee without addressing the fact that another child has died after co-sleeping with an adult in this community.
Last Thursday, a 4 month-old girl went to sleep for a nap in her mother’s bed. According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s story, she was placed on her stomach to sleep. An hour later, her mother joined her. When the mother woke up about 3 hours after that, the baby was dead, wedged between the bed and a wall.
Milwaukee has a serious problem with co-sleeping deaths. Search “co-sleeping” on the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s site and you will find statistics quoted that will leave you speechless. In a number of cases, babies in this city have specifically suffocated while sleeping with another person. In addition, a large number of babies have died of what has been termed SIDS-related causes who were, in fact, also sleeping with another person at the time of their death. The babies have been sleeping with adults who were sober but exhausted or sober with no mention of their exhaustion. The babies have been sleeping with adults under the influence of alcohol and drugs. They have been sleeping with other children. They were all babies and they are all dead.
When Serve Marketing released their Milwaukee-based campaign against co-sleeping last year, it was criticized by a leading proponent of the practice as “dangerous”. James McKenna was quoted in an AOL News article as saying the campaign teaches that “mothers are lethal weapons”. McKenna is a University of Notre Dame professor who’s research has led many pediatricians to encourage mothers to practice co-sleeping.
Co-sleeping may, in fact, be a very healthy way to raise a child. As a parent myself, I don’t disagree with him. I slept with both of my children in my bed on a number of occasions when they were babies. I know many, many parents who believe deeply that co-sleeping helps a child bond, settles a sick or uncomfortable baby and helps give nursing mothers a way to satisfy their baby’s needs while still being able to get enough sleep to function.
However, in a community like Milwaukee where poverty, low education rates, mistrust of the establishment, drug and alcohol abuse and other serious community issues lead people to make some very poor choices, I think McKenna’s message that any other way is “dangerous” is very wrong. In a community where the deaths of babies, due to co-sleeping, can climb into the double digits in one year, there is simply no message that is safe to transmit other than “co-sleeping is dangerous.”
It isn’t just co-sleeping but the practice of putting a child to sleep on their stomach that is dangerous. The “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994 and has been linked to a 50 percent drop in SIDS deaths. That’s right, half of the children who might have died otherwise did not.
Here’s the problem: that message is drowned out by parents and grandparents who say, “I put you to sleep on your stomach and you’re fine so you should do it with your baby.” And when your health care during pregnancy is limited to buying an EPT test when you miss your period and then seeing a doctor in an emergency room to deliver months later, the messages you get from your parents, grandparents, neighbors and TV are the only advice you probably trust. And those sources will often tell you to put a baby into bed with you, even if they don’t think to tell you to make sure you do it sober and correctly. The baby who died last week not only slept in a bed with an adult, she also slept on her stomach.
So, another baby has died sleeping with her mother. Another mother will spend the rest of her life knowing her baby died sleeping next to her. Do I think it’s reasonable to tell people not to co-sleep? Yes. I think when parents are educated enough, when everyone gets the same medical supervision, when the trust is in place, then you might consider reframing the message to explain how to co-sleep correctly. Until then, make sure the parents, grandparents, neighbors and the TV are only telling people to put their children to sleep in a safe place and in a safe way so they can keep their babies alive.
