Lessons learned are like bridges burned.
You only need to cross them but once.
– Dan Fogelberg, Lessons Learned, from the album Nether Lands
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| Me with my Dad, Bob Palmer, 1994. |
I don’t think I ever took Father’s Day for granted, but I can tell you that I’ve certainly appreciated it more the last two years without my Dad. Sunday promises to be the same.
In honor of Father’s Day, I’d like to talk a little bit about my Dad and how he used golf to illustrate the things he felt were important in life.
Golf was an important part of our lives as long as I can remember. We watched golf on TV and went to local New Jersey pro tournaments as well as the occasional PGA Tour event whenever we could. He would point out the pros who exemplified the best of golf’s principles and how they carried themselves, as well as noting the occasional melt down by one or two players as something to try to avoid.
But I pretty much learned golf in our yard.
Early on, Dad built a sand putting green in the yard next to our house. It was kept firm and smooth with the back of a metal rake and fairly frequent watering. This was sheer genius. It got better. Dad created a nine-hole chip and putt course in and through the extremely prevalent trees that dotted the landscape. Some short holes, some longer ones, but all very different from each other.
To make it more challenging, Dad put little logs in front of each tee. Which meant you had to chip the ball over the log to get it to the green. Now that’s training. We spent hours and hours chipping and putting and being together out there, times I’ll never forget.
It was at this little course that I saw first hand what integrity and conduct meant. As an only child, I had a bit of a temper, probably from being spoiled rotten. Those of you who have played golf with me know it’s something I’ve always had to battle. But I’ve never forgotten how much my Dad emphasized keeping things in balance.
I finally got a chance to play a real course when I was 12, at Colonial Terrace Golf Course in NJ, which actually is still there. After that, golf quickly became a prominent part my life and still is all these years later. That’s one of the great things about golf.
Dad came to every one of my golf matches in high school, taking off work and driving to wherever the match or tournament was. When I was in college, he’d make the drive over to Philadelphia more often than not to watch my matches. I’d be walking down a fairway, look up and see the familiar figure, and the even more familiar wave. It was an unbelievable feeling to know that he had driven all that way to see me play.
He was always positive, always encouraging, always looking at the bright side. What a wonderful influence.
We had many many golf highlights. One of the most memorable was our last round together, in 2006 at Riviera Golf Club in Naples. I have his last tee shot on video. Talk about special. He hit his 4-iron just short of the green on the par three ninth. He seemed happy with the shot, softly whistling as he strolled back to the cart. There was a hint of a smile. There was always the hint of a smile.
As we got up to the green, he took out his nine-iron, and as he’d done so many times in our yard, chipped the ball right next to the hole. He raised his arms, just slightly, and turned with that “see, that’s how it’s done” grin.
The lessons I learned from my Dad are prominent still, and cover important things like honor, integrity, patience, perseverance, and most of all, as you’ve gathered by now, being a good father. A better father I could not have had. I hope I’ve learned from that.
So all the Dads out there, I wish you a very happy Father’s Day. And to my Dad, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I miss you.
