Giannis Hanging With Harry
Harry Styles performed in Milwaukee on Wednesday, and area natural wonder Giannis Antetokounmpo went to see the concert. He tweeted afterward: “I just went to Harry Styles’ concert and it was 99% women and me. I’m a big fan, what a great performer.” This unexpected pairing of star athlete and performer has limitless potential. Children’s books, movies, TV shows, male fragrance lines. We can call them … Garry.
We can think of something else to call them later.
For now, let’s get started marketing this new pair of besties. I’ve already written a 300-page, half-hour sitcom script called “Greecey Hare, Don’t Care,” in which Giannis and Harry build a hair salon from the ground up in the Third Ward (but what they’re really building … is their friendship).
Bob Dylan Makes His Return to Live Music in MKE
This week at the Riverside Theater, the 80-year-old Nobel winner himself stepped back on stage for the first time since COVID hit. For the first show of his new tour, he graced a sold-out crowd with some tunes off his latest album and one or two old hits. Some might say he’s testing out his long-dormant act in smaller Midwest cities before playing in New York on Nov. 19, but to those people, I say, “Shut up.”
Marcus Corp. Posts First Profitable Quarter Since COVID
Normally I don’t get all excited about the profit margins of various corporations, but today I’m a regular Charles Milford Bergstresser. Marcus Corp. is now starting to recover from the massive pandemic blow, making a profit for the first time since COVID. I’m pleased, not just because they’re local, but because I like movies and I like movie theaters and I don’t want them to disappear. At least not before my masterpiece, Vampires of Kenosha, finds a producer, and a director, and at least one actor willing to appear in it.
“Parsnips are a late-season root vegetable that stays fresh into winter in Wisconsin”
I’m more of a rutabaga man myself, but I can appreciate a good parsnip. Really, all root vegetables are special to me in their own way. They’re like my kids, except I see them regularly. Well, anyway, while I was scrolling the news sites in search of material for this column, I stumbled on this headline about the parsnip in the JS, and I thought, “I would like to learn more about this late-season root vegetable that stays fresh into winter in Wisconsin,” and so I read it and I enjoyed it, and so I’m sharing it here with you. Parsnips.
Know an individual or group committed to bridging divides in our community? Nominate them for a Unity Award by Oct. 31.
Aaron Rodgers Has COVID
I have a funny story. Well, not really that funny. I mean, not like, you know, as funny as a fart. But what is as funny as a fart, honestly? Nothing, I don’t think. A fart is the Platonic form of comedy. What music is to emotion, the fart is to humor. Wordless, impossible to explain, full of expression. Some might find it depressing to realize they’ll never tell a joke funnier than a fella ripping a big one. I for one choose to find it liberating, almost spiritual. Like a religious believer following in the path of a saint. He knows he’ll never be Augustine, but the example spurs him onward toward that golden ideal. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Aaron Rodgers has COVID. And funny enough, when I got that news, I happened to be standing outside Lambeau Field with funnyman Charlie Berens, and then a few minutes later Matt LaFleur walked by, and I looked at him and thought, “Is that Matt LaFleur?” and then he looked at me, and I thought, “Oh shoot, he caught me staring at him,” and then he gave me a polite smile and nod, like, “Hey,” and I thought, “Play it cool, Archer. Play. It. Cool,” and so I nodded back. Very cool.
If you want to know more about why I was bumming around Lambeau with Charlie Berens, you’ll have to pick up our January print issue when it hits newsstands.
Nite Owl Closes for the Season
Drive-Ins are the best. They bring me back to high school. Lounging by my jalopy with a greasy burger and some soda, chatting up the cheerleaders. “Who is this little man, and why is he speaking to me?” “It’s me. Archer, from math class.” “Someone get it away from me. I don’t want to catch anything.” “I swear I’m not contagious. It’s just a rash.” I love to relive those carefree days at the Nite Owl, a bona fide old-fashioned drive-in with, according to our Burger Bracket, the best burgers in Milwaukee on the menu. But Nite Owl officially closed for the season this week – an inevitable and yet sad day every year.