LET’S FACE IT – Black Friday is a slow-motion horror show. Clogged parking lots, long lines, crowds, crass consumerism and cynical commercialization all with the aim of saving $40 on a television set that you’ll want to replace in a few years anyway. Who needs it? Not us!
1.
Catch a Movie
Black Friday is a big day for movie theaters as well, but with a craziness vibe several octaves lower than any department store or mall. Whether you’re in the mood for a love story, a weepy biopic, something for the kids or something in which a bunch of stuff blows up, area movie houses have you covered.
2.
Netflix and Chill (or just Netflix)
If you want to see a movie, but loath the idea of human contact, there are (duh) thousands of films available on streaming services. Black Friday’s offerings will include Martin Scoresese’s The Irishman, perhaps the highest-profile Netflix production to date. There are also a number of Milwaukee-centric selections available streaming, including The Blood Is At the Doorstep, a doc on the killing of Dontre Hamilton; a collection of Milwaukee Braves season highlight films; and the Milwaukee-made Family of Cops trilogy, starring a very aged Charles Bronson and featuring plenty of local landmarks.
3.
Traipse the Streets of Old Milwaukee
One of the good things about Black Friday is that it generally cuts down on traffic to non-retail places, such as the venerable Milwaukee Public Museum. Take this chance to walk the Streets of Old Milwaukee and be transported back to time when people didn’t camp out overnight to get a 30% discount on a hoop and stick set.
4.
Mash it Up with Beatallica
8 p.m., Pabst Brewery Taproom, 1037 West Juneau Ave
Billed as the “world’s first live mash-up,” Beatallica has been paying tribute to two iconic, yet seemingly incongruous, rock bands for over a decade. Sleep in, take it easy, and then catch them at the Pabst Taproom for hits like “Hero of the Day Tripper” and “Fuel on the Hill.”
5.
Read Something For Crying Out Loud
Really feel like taking it easy? How about spending Black Friday with a good book? 2019 was a pretty good year for local literature, with a pair of anthologies – The Milwaukee Anthology essay collection and the Milwaukee Noir short story collection [which includes a piece by the author] – histories of the early years of both the Bucks and the Brewers, and new novels from Wisconsin authors Andrea Bartz and Nickolas Butler.
6.
Rave Silently
10 p.m., Miramar Theater, 2844 N Oakland Ave
Author’s note: I am 37 years old and feel wholly unqualified to write about an event that boasts “3 DJs competing for your attention” by “spinning the hottest TRAP hits” without embarrassing myself. According to the event description, there are no speakers or amps, everyone gets wireless headphones and can tune into whichever DJ they please, while dancing or standing or vaping or whatever kids do now when they go out.
7.
BINGO!
9:30 am, United Seniors of Wisconsin Bingo Hall, 4515 West Forest Home Ave, Greenfield
Now this is more my speed! If you feel like waking up just as early as you would have to on a work day and heading out to Greenfield, you can jam with the United Seniors of Wisconsin for their weekly bingo battle. All in attendance will be issued headphones and get to choose between three of the area’s hottest bingo callers, laying down some sick calls … OK, not really, but grab your dauber and go have some fun.
