I walked into my gym last week and, after getting by the guy with the too big smile at the front desk, headed to the cramped locker room. It appeared empty which was quite appealing, since I like to change in relative peace, and quiet. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shape approaching, and my worst fears were confirmed. It was the guy who talks to everyone within earshot about everything under the sun. “Hey how’s it goin’?” he boomed. I cringed. What to do? I get that some people like to talk, but how do I communicate to this gentleman that, when I’m at the gym, I’m not one of them?
I don’t want to come across as a curmudgeon, but I’m starting to think that social ineptitude runs rampant at our local athletic clubs.
For me, I’m not going to a social hour when I go to the gym. I go to work out. Period. So I don’t want to talk to people I don’t know about the weather, the Packers, or anything else. But unfortunately, we have quite the menagerie at my club, people who would be somewhat entertaining were they not so gosh darn annoying.
So in addition to the gent who talks too much, I give you our resident under-your-skin award finalists:
The two guys who know each other all too well and insist on carrying on a rigorous conversation in the locker room that’s loud enough for people on the street to hear. And there are always a few belly laughs in there to ensure everyone’s listening.
Then there is the guy on his cell phone in the locker room, who clearly wants everyone to know “hey, I got a phone call!” and who talks so loud he’d actually drown out the two conversant buddies.
The guys who “set” for each other. These guys drive me nuts. When they’re not on the bench, they are flexing like they’re on TV, and when they are on the bench, they try to lift so much weight that their faces turn beat red, the veins look like they’re going to pop out of their necks, and they grunt as loud as they can so the girls know how macho they are. Then of course they drop the bar so it comes loudly crashing down to ensure they’re in the spotlight.
My least personal favorite is the guy with the droopy pecs in the way too big sleeveless workout shirt. Not only don’t I want to see his pecs, I don’t want to be anywhere near his underarms, which are all too visible in the free weight area. Doesn’t he own a shirt with sleeves?
The guy who brings his son every time he comes to the gym. Now this is inherently a terrific idea, bringing your son to work out with you. But this guy uses his son like a servant. The son sets for him, holds his towel, waits for him to finish each machine, and other than the support he provides, is otherwise ignored by the dad. Not good.
And the winner of the biggest creep award goes to: The guy who stands bare-ass naked in the middle of the locker room toweling off, painstakingly slow mind you, ensuring he gets every nook and cranny, and that everyone has a good view. He prances around as if he’s at a nudist colony or just got an implant. And to top it all off he has the ignominy to wedge between the guys changing and, just as you’re about to put your towel in your gym bag, bend over right in front of you. Not the image I want to leave the gym with.
So c’mon folks, let’s have a little courtesy at your local work out place. Be respectful of the people around you. But in the end, there might not be much you can do about it. As someone once said, “I guess when you go to the gym you can’t be surprised to be surrounded by dumbbells. “
