Every time I talk about Sunday Boyfriend, and I do like talking about Sunday Boyfriend, I inevitably get the question, “How do I know if I have a Sunday Boyfriend?” And I always ask, “Do you have an always-there-for-you-kind-of-guy-friend?” If the answer is, “Yes,” then you more than likely have a Sunday Boyfriend. I also ask to hear stories; because I LOVE hearing real stories from real people.
This is one of those stories…
I was on a double-date dinner not too long ago with a couple I hadn’t seen in quite some time; let’s call them Jack & Jane. They heard about the blog and we began talking about Sunday Boyfriend. Turns out Jane was able to easily identify a couple of Sunday Boyfriends. One of her SBs she met when she was first out on her own. They hit it off as friends and decided to live together–again, just as friends. Turns out her friend was, in her words, a “player;” and a “good-looking player to boot!” But for her, he wasn’t date-able material. Besides, he was more interested in fulfilling his immediate needs than creating a relationship. We’ve all known a guy or two like this, right? “A player.” These are the guys that love women…they just love a lot of women at the same time. And here’s something to chew on before I continue with Jane’s story…why is a man who engages in this behavior, a “player” and a woman a “slut”? A different friend of mine once told me she thought an ex of mine was a slut. Having agreed, I thought the term fit him perfectly. And it made me think how society applauds men for going after what they want (player, stud, etc.), but slanders women (slut, whore, etc.). I for one, would like to do away with these beguiling terms; for they both usurp reality…one celebrates and one vilifies.
Okay. I’m off my soapbox now. Back to Jane’s story…
Jane found it, I’ll say, interesting to see the parade of girls that ended up in their apartment on a weekly basis. And while “players” usually turn a smart girls stomach, she saw another side of him that made him a great friend…and Sunday Boyfriend. They were able to appreciate some of the same things (music, sports); they respected each other’s space; they were able to honestly give each other the opposite gender’s point of view. (This is a good reminder that things/people aren’t always what they seem.)
And now here’s the part of the story that solidified Jane’s Sunday Boyfriend: When Jane broke up with the guy she was dating, and needed to get her stuff back, her ex became unreasonable. Jane’s Sunday Boyfriend became upset that a guy was treating his friend poorly. So he gathered some of his friends and all went with Jane to get her things. Jane said the support was fantastic. When telling her story, this is the part where she giggled the most. And I was a little thrown off by that, because usually when you get to the toughest part of a break up story, you aren’t giggling. But it was because her Sunday Boyfriend was tough and strong for her when she was vulnerable, that allowed her to now see that moment, years later, for what it was. It wasn’t a break up moment…it was a Sunday Boyfriend moment. So maybe not all “players” are sluts after all.
Did this story trigger a memory for you? Did you have an always-there-for-you guy friend help you during a break up? Then you have a Sunday Boyfriend.
If you want more information on Sunday Boyfriend, or have a Sunday Boyfriend question, let me know. In the meantime, stay comfy and check me out at my blog, www.sundayboyfriend.blogspot.com; Facebook, www.facebook.com/pages/Sunday-Boyfriend/20305680958; and Twitter, http://twitter.com/#!/SundayBoyfriend
