The original Coyote Ugly opened its doors on the streets of New York in 1993, but it wasn’t until the movie release in 2000 and the following TV series that people around the world became familiar with the phrase “we don’t serve water here.” On Feb. 16, Lil, owner of the Coyote Ugly enterprise, brought her wild bar antics to 1131 N. Water St. and the people of Milwaukee. I only wish it had happened sooner since my dream job in college was to get paid for singing along to a jukebox while crawling hand over knee across a bar.
A sign on the front door resembles the kind you would normally read while boarding a rollercoaster at a Six Flags amusement park. Just replace the warnings of neck injury and heart failure with “you may lose your bra” and “you may spend your money,” though from my experience, neck injuries aren’t completely out of the question. In the matter of one evening I witnessed a handcuffed customer taking shots out of a girl’s belly button, more choreography than a state cheer 
competition, and men and women alike failing miserably at a hula hoop contest. My review companion would blame her hula disaster on the quality of the hoops; she claims they were subpar. Either someone forgot to tell the coyotes that it was a Tuesday or this place is determined to make every day feel like the best parts of a bachelorette party (which obviously exclude ridiculous penis straws and a girl wearing a toilet paper veil.)
Black leather and skulls make up the interior with the added flash of the women’s bathroom being plastered with the covers of Easy Rider magazine. The whole establishment feels like the local Harley Davidson dealer, and they’ve got the swag to boot. A place that will sell you a commemorative T-shirt after soaking your own with some H2O gone rogue? Quite clever if you ask me.
The flirtatious bartenders were strangely warm and accommodating when it came to the female guests, inviting 
everyone with ovaries to dance on the bar. The girls passing out $4 rail mixers and $5 pints of Spotted Cow aren’t the only employees with powerful personalities. Bouncers pace the floor wearing “BMF” T-shirts, and when I asked if the acronym stood for what I thought it did, I got a smirk and the response “Nah, Be My Friend.” Doubtful, very doubtful.
Looking for additional history on the Coyote Ugly concept or upcoming events? Check out CoyoteUglySaloon.com for not only the goings on of our Milwaukee location but also for happenings at all 17 sites; definitely worth it if you’re looking to make some bad decisions on that upcoming spring break trip or find pictures of your more fortunate friends to later use as blackmail
