It’s no secret that even though I’m a nurturer, I have no maternal yearnings. Mainly it’s other women who shriek as if I’m a leper when I share that I don’t get excited about kids. I disappear when coworkers pull out baby pictures. The sound of a kid crying is like nails on a chalkboard (I’ve been known to walk out of a restaurant because of crying babies). I find nothing cute about the toddler kicking the back of my seat on the plane no matter how much she smiles. And my friends’ kid who decided to substitute my couch cushion as a bowl for her ice cream. She had me a hair away from doubling my birth control dose. I’m used to people thinking I’m anti-kid (I’m really not. I just don’t have the interest or emotional wherewithal to have another human being depend on me for their survival).
But I don’t have to lead a kid-friendly lifestyle to be extremely disturbed and disgusted by the numerous reports of parents who have allegedly killed their children. I can hardly stand to read the details. Some are so horrid that I’m convinced that there’s a mistake in the reporting. That no human being could commit such a heartless and cold act against a baby. Some of the reports were so disgusting I had to stop reading and walk away. Details of one parent shoving a hairbrush down a child’s throat, one admitted to performing a number of wrestling moves on a toddler, there was evidence of trauma to one child’s genitals, reports that one child was thrown against the wall and knocked unconscious, and one admitted to holding a baby’s feet in scalding water and pinning a baby’s head to the floor. The most disturbing part is that I’m willing to bet in most cases, the abuse that resulted in the child’s death was not the first time this type of behavior was displayed.
And the common explanation for the abuse is anger.
HUH?
I know most parents, including my own mother, will take every opportunity to remind me that parenting is the most difficult job one can ever take on. I don’t dispute that at all. And I don’t dispute that a child can stir up anger and frustration like no one else can. But what I’m confused about is when did we move past time-outs, revoking privileges and even good ole fashion spankings (not to be confused with beatings although obviously some parents aren’t able to differentiate the two), to killing our kids for pissing us off? And when did we start killing our kids for simply being kids? You know, things like running and playing, being antsy, talking, crying, being hungry or wetting themselves.
I’m not even going to pretend to know the answers to why we’re killing our kids. And I’m too emotionally exhausted to offer solutions. I’m pissed. Period. Every time I read about another child abuse case, I can’t sleep for a week, tormented by the images of bruised babies who were killed at the hands of people who were supposed to protect them.
Children are becoming increasingly unsafe with the very people who took an unspoken oath to protect, nurture and provide for them. Regardless of your personal views on weather or not to become a parent, that should make us all outraged.
